Fathomable Depths: May 2005

We've arrived!

Ahhh, I have finally found an airport with a sense of decency. Portland International comes complete with free wi-fi connections on the main terminal. Leave it to the left-wing hippie types to get it right! Wifey and I have arrived without incident and are about to sample Portland’s supposedly super-efficient light rail system, the MAX. I will be curious to find out how it stacks up against MARTA and the other light rails I have been on. We should be on it for about 45 minutes, so I should get a chance to see a little bit of Portland as well. During the last leg of our journey we were fortunate enough to sit with an interesting passenger who was headed to the Cascades to do some hiking and camping over the weekend. She lives in L.A. and is a chiropractor by trade. We barely noticed the flight because we were enjoying chatting with her so much. She told us that the term “shanghaied” was originally coined in Portland. Seems that in the Victorian era the sea captains who were short on crews would purchase deck hands from the locals here for about $50 per head. The locals, wanting to maximize profits I’m sure, would spike the drinks of bar patrons and after they were good and snookered, would open trap doors in the saloon floors and drop them into a system of underground tunnels called the “Shanghai Tunnels”. The unconscious men were then carried through the tunnels to the port (which is quite large by the way) and put on a ship bound for the Orient. When they awoke at sea, they were told they would have to work off their passage in order to return to Portland (usually about 6 years). They now offer tours of the tunnel system and Dr. Kronski and Janet tell me they even have a tavern set up inside the tunnel itself. If I have some time I will definitely try to make it a stop on our journey and take plenty of pictures. I don’t think I’ll be drinking much, though, as I am sure you would all be devastated to lose your Wizard for even a few days, much less the better part of a decade. Have a great night and don’t drink on top of trap doors.

Sitting on the dock of the bay

The Wizard has landed. Wifey and I are sitting in the Oakland airport waiting for our connection to Portland. They have wireless access here as well, but of course it costs $6.95. I guess there is no real incentive to offer free wi-fi in airports in order to garner more customers, because they know you are going to be here regardless. Gotta love capitalism. We have a couple of minutes to blow off here, so I will cut this post short in favor of a little shuteye. More later.

Up in the sky, it's a bird...it's a plane blog!

Well devoted blog readers, the Wizard is plane blogging for the first time. The flight time from Nashville to Oakland is supposedly 4 1/2 hours, but after about hour two I was hoping we were already there. Southwest’s accommodations are sufficient, although a little smaller than ideal. Even the bags of peanuts are mini-sized. Thank goodness for our foresight in packing some lunches to eat while enroute, because the in-flight snacks served consisted of a small bag of cheese nips, four graham crackers, peanuts, and some Oreos (mini-sized of course). Wifey got up at chicken thirty to make us some delicious sandwiches, which hit the spot at lunchtime. I don’t think everyone onboard read that we would not be receiving meals, because I heard a few of them grumbling about being hungry. One was even so bold as to inquire of the flight attendant if it was, in fact, legal not to serve food on a four hour plus flight. She assured him they were not violating any nourishment laws, explaining (complete with Freudian slip) that they do not serve meals because they are a “Low Care Ferry-er, uh, I mean Low Fare Carrier” We both got quite a chuckle out of that hilarious explanation. I suppose others would have enjoyed it more were it not for the grumbling in their stomachs. Other than the cramped conditions the flight was good. We even got to see the Rockies, since the traveling weather today is so nice. Hopefully our last leg will be as smooth as this one, so the only difficult thing left to do will be adjusting to PST. I am going to stop pummeling my seat mates with my elbows while I attempt to type this and put this laptop away for landing. Sky Wizard out!

The journey of a thousand miles...

Well, the Wifey and I have arrived safely at Nashville International Airport. The drive was not bad at all and check-in at Southwest was painless and quick (Our representative was pregnant, due in August, so she gave us priority preboarding to help us out). Even the security checkpoint was staffed by friendly attendants. The only bump in our otherwise smooth day was the fact that I left my cell phone in the car. Oh well, looks like I won’t be worrying about work after all! I was delighted to find that BNA offers wireless internet access on the concourse, but they want $6.95 per 24 hours to use itL I figured it was too good to be true. Oh well. The airport here is nice and well planned and has artwork from local artists, concert posters, and various other interesting things on the walls to make your trek more enjoyable. We are flying through Oakland on our way to Portland, so you may have a little more airport reviewing to enjoy before we arrive at our final destination. Have a great morning and enjoy every minute!

We've got a ticket to ride

Good evening comrades, I hope this post finds you all happy and healthy. The Wifey and I are currently in the final stages of preparation for our cross-country jaunt tomorrow. The dog has been shaved, the bags packed, and the snacks purchased. Would you believe that Southwest airlines is flying us across the country without offering a single meal? I guess I know why the tickets were so inexpensive! Judging from the comments on this website, we may be in for an experience tomorrow. Never fear, we have purchased a plethora of travel-friendly snacks to consume while we take to the skies. I don't know if any of the airports(besides Portland) we will visit offer wireless access(although there is a list of airports that offer it in some capacity here). It may be up-to-date, then again, it may not. We shall find out tomorrow. Once we make it to Portland we will be utilizing their public transportation to get to our hotel. There is wireless in the hotel but they want $10 per day to use it...I think I will just mosey on down to the local free wifi coffee shop and skip the exorbitant access fee. I will also be skipping out Friday to enjoy a round of golf at Heron Lakes, a beautiful course designed by Robert Trent Jones, Jr. I have played Grand National, one of his courses in Alabama, and was extremely impressed. I look forward to visiting this one as well. I will take lots of pics while I am out there for your viewing pleasure. Have a great night and stay tuned for updates!

My blog is back and there's gonna be trouble!

Hey-la, hey-la, my blog is back! Sorry about the downtime yesterday, my esteemed audience. Never fear though, the Wizard is back and badder than ever! Thank you for the outpouring of support while I was offline. I had several people contact me concerning the unscheduled service interruption which was touching, because it means you like my blog! It was down by no fault of my own--Blogger was having some hardware issues which they have now resolved. You can click easy knowing that this problem has been corrected. I have to run off to work, but I promise some prolific posts later. Have a (insert superlative) day!

Vacation Ahoy!

Hello my worthy compadres, the Wizard is back with some late-night ramblings. I am having trouble containing my excitement about my upcoming vacation this week. The Wifey and I will be traveling to Portland, Oregon to celebrate the union of Dr. Kronski and his lovely fiancee Janet. We are both looking forward to spending time with family and friends as well as getting a little fresh air on the west side of the country. I went down to the park yesterday and tested out the hand in anticipation of playing a little golf in Portland. I am happy to report that the hand is feeling much better and should be ready for action this weekend. I will not be bringing my personal weaponry out to Portland, so I practiced a little chipping with the pitching wedge that caused so much trouble a few weeks earlier. Fortunately, it seems the hiatus has sufficiently punished the offending stick and it made amends by hitting straight and true the whole time. I will let you know if the break has been as beneficial for the rest of my game as soon as I find out. I am going to be long distance blogging throughout the trip and will try to include lots of pictures and stories as they become available. Have a great evening and enjoy!

Fashion Show 2005

Wizard back on the scene with some pictures that will hopefully balance out the grossness of the previous spread. Wifey went shopping for some new outfits today and decided to put on an impromptu fashion show. She is definitely showing just a bit now, which is to be expected as she is 30 weeks along. So here's the goods, enjoy the maternity fashion blogging!

Wifey is looking goregeous as always.

Work it girl, nice pout!

Meeeow!

C'est chic

Tres chic!

Check out that waistline! Magnifique!

Week 30--She wears it well!

Warning Gross Poison Ivy Pictures Warning

Okay, so I thought the poison ivy pictures I linked to the other day were totally gross and much worse than my exposure. That was then, this is now. Keep in mind the photos below are a full two weeks from my lovely poison ivy experience. Yes, two weeks! The Benadryl seemed to be much more affective once the oozing yellowish blisters appeared(two days ago). The Caladryl was semi-effective during the early stages, but is completely useless now. The best thing for the pre-blister phase was some thick hot oatmeal (made with lemon juice and vinegar instead of water) applied to the area and allowed to cool and dry completely . It stinks, but it really took the itch away and helped speed the progression of this hateful affliction. How can I forget to sing the praises of the good old hair dryer, which is extremely effective in knocking out the itching for several hours. I blow dry my legs, arm, and stomach twice a day and savor the temporary relief it offers. The itching is not so bad now that the blisters have popped up and started oozing. Gee, that's a funny sentence to type! Anyway, have a look-see at the pretty colors my skin has turned and try not to lose your lunch in the process. Oh, and don't walk around drunk in poison ivy. Ever.

Ahhh, so THIS is what poison ivy does!!!

How about this beauty?

This officially sucks

Oooo my knees!

Ouchie

It's bad....really bad....really, really bad!

Bachelorfest 2005

Well my patient friends, I have finally made good on my promise to develop the film of the drunken camping trip. I also developed a unknown canister of film I found tucked away in a drawer, which turned out to be pics from the previous bachelor weekend I attended for my best friend Richard's wedding in the summer of 2004. So it seems my worthy audience will get double the bachelor party pics for price of one! What a deal. Enjoy.