Suspect armed with a delicious weapon?

I'm getting hungry just reading about this one!

Take THAT Taxman!

So much for "one for you nineteen for me"! I just returned from the property tax appeal and guess what......I fought the law and I WON! After about 10 minutes I was out the door with a promise of a new, lower assessment within two to four weeks, and get this, if I don't agree with that one I can appeal AGAIN! What did this entail? Only about five minutes on the phone requesting a fax that details the sales prices of two comparable properties, one dollar for parking, and ten minutes presenting my case and documentation to an overworked county employee. She agreed that my appraisal was too high and signed off to reduce the amount without any trouble whatsoever. Gotta love it when a plan comes together. Now there's nothing left to do but relax and enjoy the sounds of the monsoon outside while savoring the exquisite feeling that victory over the government affords. Have a great afternoon, I have to go gloat now.

Don't make me kick your Ass(essment)!

Good afternoon party people, your friendly neighborhood Wizard here to brighten your day and let you know what you would be doing if you were me! Right now you would be getting ready to go grab a quick bite, quite possibly at Backyard Burger, my favorite day-off lunch spot. Yes, I know it's not the healthiest fare, but I can't resist a fast food place that lets me order a mushroom swiss burger. I have to eat in a hurry because I am scheduled to appear at the Knox County Assessor's office to contest my increase in property taxes. I am locked, stocked, and fully loaded with documentation of comparable home sales in the neighborhood, as well as a recent appraisal of my domicile. Hopefully they will agree that our property value has not increased 18% in the last 18 months. Although, if it actually has increased that much, I am sure I will be getting a lot of emails from people interested in the area! Keep your fingers crossed and I'll let you know if I can persuade my government to work with me. The weather is damp and dreary so I'm not missing any golf today as a result of my injured hand. Nothing better to do, so I might as well go haggle with some public servants. Oh well, at least lunch will be good! Hasta Luego.

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle!

Well, not to worry my cyberfriends, the Wizard's injured wing is doing just fine. Though still painful, the Doc has said it is just a sprain of the wrist. Three X-rays and about 30 minutes were all it took to reach this diagnosis, and despite the pain, he said the wrist should return to normal in about a week. This is great news for the Wifey, as it means that golf will not always supercede the painting and decorating of the Fathomable nursery! We spent the day together nursing our various infirmities and watching T.V. Nothing too interesting, although I did watch a western called Shalako starring Sean Connery and Brigitte Bardot. I guess no casting decision is too far-fetched when Sean Connery is involved, even a cowboy with an Scottish accent! And, yes, Brigitte was complete with smoky eyes even after being on the run from a band of murderous Apaches for two days! Gotta love Hollywood.

Talk to the Hand!

As my loyal audience may have noticed, I neglected to post any musings yesterday. Please don't interpret this as a lack of interest in this blog, as I was kidnapped by a band of Pygmy taxidermists and I had to spend the entire day convincing them I was not on my deathbed! Just kidding, I experienced an unfortunate incident yesterday at, of all places, the golf course. I managed to scoot out of work in time to play about an hour of golf in a hasty but enjoyable manner. Unfortunately my better judgment was temporarily absent when I found my ball lying (fathomably) deep in some damp rough. Since I was not playing a tournament and the course was absent of witnesses, the correct play would have been to use a hand or foot wedge and extricate my ball from it's grassy slumber and position it in a more favorable location. Instead, I decided to swing a purposeful pitching wedge and subsequently wrenched my hand/wrist in a most uncomfortable manner. After spitting out a few expletives, which did nothing to alleviate the growing pain in my right hand, I decided that the best course of action would be, you guessed it, to continue golfing! I made it through two more holes, scoring a bogey and a par, before deciding to revise my analysis and go home to nurse my wounded hand and pride. In order to avoid further injury I decided the best thing to do was rest my hand and this is the reason for the absence of new posts yesterday. The hand is still a little painful today so I have cancelled my tee time and replaced it with an appointment to see a hand specialist at the local orthopedic center. Not my favorite way to spend a day off, but it is a heck of a lot better than being stuffed and mounted! I will keep you updated on the happenings today, although my typing speed will be greatly reduced. Hopefully the doctor will tell me it is just a sprain, but if the worst happens, please send my remains to those nice Pygmies so they can prepare me for posterity. Anyone have some extra space on their study wall?

Precipitation Central

Rain, rain, go away, and let the Wizard play golf today! After a day of lethargic business that morphed into a dreary, movie-watching type of evening, I decided the best thing to do, after my nap of course, was to blab on the blog so all of cyberspace could fathom how bored I am. You don't believe me? Check out the radar for yourself. Now what is a lonely Wizard to do after the sleeping is done? Blog about his favorite things and hope someone is remotely interested. First on the agenda is the one thing no good husband can do without. Not this, but these! Their orchids are beautiful and you could not give your flower business to a more wonderful nursery. Dan, Debbie, and Skinner are wonderful friends, and their orchids are unparalleled. I really like the ones that smell like chocolate, just ask Dan(possibly the most knowledgeable person in the Southeast when is comes to orchids) and he will know which ones you mean. Or you could always take your special lady here, which I highly recommend(Mmmm, unlimited Appleton's!). Just make sure to bring a pair of these! The fathomable Wifey has returned from work, so I will have to continue the shameless promotion of my favorite things later. Have a great evening and enjoy The Shield.

America's Next Top Meowdel?

Who's a happy girl? 

By popular request, here's Cassidy! Does it get any cuter than this? 

A Day in the Life...

I have posted a brief pictorial history of a few of the people who make my Mondays fun in the mornings. Glenn is always there to greet me in the mornings with a smile and a load of great produce. If anyone is in need of produce in the Knoxville/Chattanooga area, I highly recommend T&T Produce. Their prices are competitive and their customer service is unequaled. Thank you Glenn! Jaime is my main meat man this morning, cooking pounds of italian sausage for the day with style and panache! He is probably online setting up his own blog as you read this. I will be sure to link to it when it is up and running. Enter Fred the Man. He arrives weekly bearing gifts of clean linens and aprons so starched you can barely bend down while wearing them! He enjoys car racing, feeding his cow, and piloting his cavernous recreational vehicle to Mellow Mushroom for a delicious Italian hoagie with his family. I received the first comments on my blog from one Dr. Kronski, brother-in-law, fiancee, and raconteur extraordinaire. Dont worry bro, pics of the Fathomable zoo are imminent! Stay tuned for further developments.

Fred the man! 

Jaime the Meat Master! 

Glenn, the Produce King! 

Shower Power!

Adrienne and I have just returned from the best darn baby shower this side of the Mississippi! Jen and Ben Stubbs had the spread done up impeccably as always, and it was a full house of close friends and even a few little ones as well. After indulging in the smorgasboard of goodies with a smattering of conversations, we settled into the infamous Stubbs activities. The appetizer was an improvised game of Balloon Beatings and Bumpings that captivated just about everyone. We then took turns estimating Adrienne's midsection girth with lengths of toilet paper. Although Amanda gave me a run for my money, ultimately Daddy Garcia was the closest to the exact size. Then the big guns came out! Ben a.k.a. Trivia Guru dished out the trademark trivia questions with a baby twist. Hopefully our performance was not indicative of our child-rearing aptitude, because we did not do well at all(Admittedly, I was reponsible for persuading Adrienne to change several correct answers--who says Father always knows best?). Luckily Jen had the perfect recipe for mending our battered pride--The BEST ICE CREAM CAKE EVER! The delicious combination of mint chocolate, fudge nut brownie, chocolate and vanilla ice creams, and possibly some illegal sedatives had everyone smiling like, well, babies and looking forward to a nap! We couldn't let our eyelids droop, however, because we were busy staring at the mountain of presents our friends had brought for Miss Annabelle. I have to admit that at one point I got a little choked up when I saw Annabelle's clothes. I can't believe our baby is going to be so little, and I was having a tough time looking at all the wonderful presents without succumbing to a cuteness attack. Adrienne and I are really touched by the outpouring of support and generosity from everyone and we will hold the memories of today in our hearts forever. Thank you everyone, and a special thank you to Ben and Jen for opening their hearts and home to us. We can't wait to return the favor. Muchas Gracias!

Mackenzie is So Cute!!

Lovely ladies from Farragut! 

Who's your Daddy? 

Shroom ladies getting happy! 

Delicious and diapers! 

Mommy and Mindy a.k.a. Bride-to-be 

Parting is such sweet sorrow. 

Jen's diaper-filled masterpiece! 

Aaron and Adrienne together 4Eva! 

Ahhh, Ice Cream Cake Heaven! 

Daddy cries over clothes, Mommy over the Glider! 

Beautiful heirloom quilt from Jim and Linda Livingston! 

Father knows best! 

Wide Eyed Jamison! 

Wifey

Partly cloudy, with a chance of Baby Showers

It looks like the beginnings of a beautiful, but breezy day here in the Valley, but don't take my word for it. You can see for yourself here and here. Luckily, I won't have to work all day today because our wonderful friend Jennifer Stubbs is throwing us our very first Baby Shower for our ever-growing daughter, Annabelle! You can't really make her out in the picture, but the Wifey sure looks cute. More on the festivities later, as I have to run out to work, albeit briefly. Have a great day everyone!

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

Virgin Voyage

This is the first official post of the Fathomable Depths blog. This blog's sole purpose is to become one of the 40,000 new blogs popping up daily as a result of the internet phenomenon. By rough estimates 99% of these new blogs are a complete waste of time and mouse clicks. This blog is not trying to become one of the 400 insightful ones that actually benefit society in some way, but perhaps by some fluke it may occasionally allow you to waste your time in an enjoyable way. Enough talk, let's get this boat out of the harbor!